How Grandparents Can Help Grandkids Navigate Challenges at School

Grandparents play an important role in helping grandkids thrive at school. From managing friendships to handling homework stress, grandparents can provide calm support, open conversations, and steady encouragement. This article outlines common school challenges, practical steps grandparents can take, sample conversation scripts, and when to seek extra help from parents, teachers, or professionals.

Common Challenges Grandparents See

Social: Friendships, Bullying, and Peer Pressure

• Signs: withdrawing from friends, reluctance to attend school, frequent tears, or changes in behavior.

• Note: Grandparents often notice subtle shifts during visits or phone calls that parents may miss.

Academic: Learning Struggles

• Signs: frustration with reading or math, avoiding homework, low confidence, or frequent complaints like “I’m dumb.”

Organization: Homework and Time Management

• Signs: forgotten assignments, messy backpacks, procrastination, and difficulty following multi-step directions.

Emotional: Anxiety and Stress

• Signs: stomachaches before school, frequent “sick” days, worry about tests, or extreme perfectionism.

Digital: Phones, Social Media, and Cyberbullying

• Signs: secrecy around devices, emotional changes after being online, or excessive screen time impacting sleep.

• Note: Coordination with parents is key here, as rules and monitoring must be consistent across households.

Table: Challenges, Actions, and Pitfalls

Challenge	What Grandparents Can Do	What to Avoid
Social conflicts	Listen without judgment, model healthy friendship skills, encourage role-play problem solving	Calling the other child’s parent directly or minimizing feelings
Academic struggles	Offer short, patient homework support; encourage strengths	Doing the work for them or pressuring for perfection
Organization issues	Create a simple homework checklist or backpack routine	Criticizing messiness or comparing to siblings
Anxiety/stress	Normalize feelings (“Lots of kids get nervous about tests”), suggest calming routines	Dismissing concerns with “Don’t worry, it’s no big deal”
Digital challenges	Ask about favorite apps/games, encourage balance, model screen-free activities	Snooping without consent or undermining parents’ tech rules

What Helps: Practical Strategies

1. The 10-Minute After-School Check-In

• Set aside a few minutes to ask three open-ended questions:

  1. What was the best part of your day?

  2. What was tricky or confusing?

  3. Who did you spend time with?

• Keep it short, light, and consistent.

2. Homework “Body-Double” Technique

• Sit nearby while your grandchild works on homework. Read or work quietly on your own task.

• This provides accountability without hovering.

3. Small Routines for Organization

• Create a “school zone” at home with labeled bins for homework, books, and supplies.

• Use a simple checklist (backpack packed, homework signed, snack packed).

4. Calming Practices for Anxiety or Stress

• Teach simple breathing (inhale to 3, exhale to 5).

• Share a personal story of how you managed nerves at their age.

• Encourage positive self-talk: “I can try my best, and that’s enough.”

5. Digital Awareness and Balance

• Ask, “Show me your favorite app” instead of interrogating.

• Suggest tech-free times (like family dinner or bedtime stories).

• Align with parents on rules about devices and online safety.

6. Logging Concerns for Parents

• Keep a short notebook or phone log of patterns you observe.

• Share notes calmly with parents: “I noticed she often says she feels sick on test days.”

Boundaries, Safety, and Escalation

• Encourage parent-school meetings if struggles persist longer than a few weeks or impact daily functioning.

• Ask about a 504 Plan or IEP if there are repeated academic challenges (parents must initiate this process).

• Red flags needing professional help: frequent school refusal, talk of self-harm, extreme withdrawal, or sudden personality shifts.

• Urgent support: If safety is at risk, call emergency services or the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (988 in the U.S.).

• Child Safety Guide - nstlaw.com/child-safety/

Summary & Gentle Next Step

Grandparents are an untapped resource when it comes to school success. By listening closely, creating small routines, and working alongside parents and teachers, grandparents can ease stress and strengthen resilience.

👉 This week, try a 10-minute after-school check-in with your grandchild. Listen with curiosity—and notice what opens up.

When to Get Immediate Help

If your grandchild expresses thoughts of self-harm, severe hopelessness, or you feel their safety is at risk, call 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) in the U.S. or local emergency services right away.

10 Ideas for “Helping Grandkids with School Challenges”

1. Kids’ Study Zone Organizer

A portable desk caddy or homework station with labeled compartments for pencils, notebooks, and flashcards.

2. Noise-Canceling Kids’ Headphones

Noise-canceling headphones are great for improving focus during homework or online learning, especially for children who get easily distracted.

3. Educational Games and Puzzles

Brain-building tools like logic puzzles, math board games, or word games that reinforce school skills in a fun way.

4. Weighted or Calming Blanket

Weighted or calming blankets promotes better sleep and relaxation for anxious or overstimulated students.

5. Digital Time Management Timer

A visual timer that helps kids break homework into manageable chunks and practice self-regulation.

6. Interactive Reading Pen or Audiobook Device

An interactive reading pen or audiobook device encourages independent reading and comprehension — helpful for struggling readers or those with learning differences.

7. Mindfulness & Emotion Cards for Kids

Mindfulness & Emotional cards teach self-awareness and emotional regulation through short breathing or reflection activities.

8. Ergonomic Study Chair or Lap Desk

Ergonomic study chair or lap desk encourages proper posture during study time, especially for kids working from home or after school.

9. Parent–Teacher Communication Planner

A printable or physical planner that helps families log school updates, meetings, or progress notes — ideal for grandparents who help manage routines.

10. Positive Affirmation Wall Art or Stickers

Visual reminders that promote confidence, resilience, and a growth mindset in the child’s study space.

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References

• American Psychological Association. (2020). Anxiety in children. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org

• National Institute of Mental Health. (2022). Child and adolescent mental health. Retrieved from https://www.nimh.nih.gov

• StopBullying.gov. (2021). What you can do. U.S. Department of Health & Human Services.

• Understood.org. (2023). Learning and thinking differences in kids. Retrieved from https://www.understood.org

• American School Counselor Association. (2023). Role of the school counselor. Retrieved from https://schoolcounselor.org

This article is for general education and is not a substitute for professional diagnosis or therapy. If someone is in immediate danger, call local emergency services.