Social Relationships
Guiding Strong Bonds: Tools and Tips for Grandparents to Help Grandkids Build Healthy Friendships and Social Skills

In an increasingly complex and digitally driven world, children's ability to form and maintain healthy social relationships has become more critical than ever. While parents and educators play central roles in fostering social development, grandparents often serve as invaluable influencers—offering emotional support, wisdom, and life experience that can help children navigate social situations with confidence and empathy. With their unique perspective and nurturing presence, grandparents are well-positioned to help guide their grandkids toward developing strong, meaningful connections.
The Importance of Social Relationships in Childhood
According to the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University, positive social relationships in early life are closely tied to cognitive development, emotional regulation, and long-term mental health (Harvard University, 2023). Children who form healthy bonds with others tend to have greater self-esteem, better academic performance, and lower rates of anxiety and depression.
Grandparents, often unburdened by the day-to-day responsibilities of parenting, can focus on building deeper emotional connections with their grandkids and modeling the qualities that support strong social skills—such as empathy, kindness, communication, and patience.
Emotional and Developmental Benefits of Grandparent Involvement
-
Emotional Stability and Trust: Children benefit from having multiple sources of consistent love and attention. Grandparents can be a secure emotional anchor, especially during times of family stress or transition. This emotional grounding helps children develop trust, which is the foundation of all healthy social interactions.
-
Role Modeling and Social Learning: Albert Bandura’s Social Learning Theory emphasizes that children learn behaviors through observation and imitation (Bandura, 1977). When grandparents display respectful communication, resolve conflicts calmly, and show compassion to others, children absorb and replicate these behaviors in their own social lives.
-
Expanded Social Circles: Grandparents often introduce their grandkids to intergenerational interactions—through community events, religious services, or visits with extended family. These experiences expose children to diverse communication styles, encourage adaptability, and enhance their ability to form connections beyond their peer group.
Practical Strategies Grandparents Can Use
-
Model Positive Social Behavior: Demonstrate how to greet others, express gratitude, handle disagreements, and show empathy. Children are keen observers and often mirror the behavior of trusted adults.
-
Encourage Group Activities: Invite grandchildren to participate in group settings like library story hours, sports games, or family gatherings. Use these events to help them practice introductions, sharing, and conversation skills.
-
Tell Stories That Teach Social Lessons: Share personal stories that highlight moments of friendship, cooperation, or handling peer pressure. Real-life experiences from a grandparent’s past often resonate more deeply than abstract advice.
-
Teach the Value of Kindness and Inclusion: Use everyday moments—like writing thank-you notes or helping a neighbor—as opportunities to teach compassion and respect for others. These small acts build social awareness and a sense of community.
-
Support Friendships with Peers: Offer to host playdates, help with transportation to school events, or attend their extracurricular activities. Show interest in their friends and ask open-ended questions like, “What do you enjoy about your friendship with Sam?”
-
Discuss Online Social Interaction: In today’s digital age, social interaction often happens online. Grandparents can help grandkids navigate digital communication safely and respectfully, encouraging balance and discouraging harmful behaviors like cyberbullying.
-
Help Build Emotional Vocabulary: Support grandkids in labeling their emotions and expressing them constructively. This strengthens emotional intelligence—a critical component of forming and maintaining healthy relationships.
Real-Life Example
When Linda, a retired teacher from Ohio, began caring for her 10-year-old granddaughter twice a week, she noticed the child struggled with shyness and social anxiety. Linda introduced her to a local art class where the girl slowly formed friendships with children who shared her interests. Linda also modeled social openness by chatting with the instructor and other parents, showing her granddaughter how to initiate small talk. Over time, the girl became more comfortable speaking with peers and even invited a friend over for a sleepover—something she’d never done before.
Supporting Evidence and Expert Insight
A 2021 study published in the journal Child Development found that children with strong relationships with their grandparents demonstrated better social competence and fewer behavioral problems than peers without such connections (Silverstein & Ruiz, 2021). This suggests that grandparents don’t just offer love and fun—they actively shape children’s social development.
Moreover, The American Academy of Pediatrics emphasizes that supportive adults, beyond immediate parents, contribute significantly to a child’s social and emotional growth (AAP, 2020). Grandparents often fulfill this role with deep emotional investment and a patient, nonjudgmental approach that complements parental efforts.
Conclusion
Grandparents are far more than occasional babysitters or holiday companions—they are powerful allies in nurturing the social development of their grandkids. Through storytelling, example-setting, and consistent emotional support, they help build the foundation for lasting, healthy relationships. In a world where social skills are essential to both personal and professional success, grandparents have a timeless and impactful role to play.
References
-
Bandura, A. (1977). Social Learning Theory. Prentice Hall.
-
Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. (2023). Key Concepts: Serve and Return. Retrieved from https://developingchild.harvard.edu
-
Silverstein, M., & Ruiz, S. (2021). Grandparent–Grandchild Relationships and Social Development in Children. Child Development, 92(4), 1357–1371.
-
American Academy of Pediatrics. (2020). The Importance of Family Relationships for Child Development. Retrieved from https://www.aap.org
COMING SOON -- More Resources for Grandparents
We independently evaluate all recommended products and services. If you click on the links we provide, we may receive compensation. This page contains affiliate links from Amazon and Walmart. As an affiliate, we may earn a commission from qualifying purchases. Learn more.

.png)
